Talk About Awkward Moments

Since my arrival in China on May 3, 2014, I have had many awkward moments.

Most days,  I have to sign, point, dramatize or role play in an effort to communicate my requests to the natives. In fact, one day, I had to pretend to be a chicken in order to guarantee the purchase of authentic poultry and not canine products or by-products thereof.  

If you have read my previous blogs, you can easily conjure the design of the Chinese restrooms in the public schools. The toilets are at ground level and there are no doors  to privatize the stalls. One day, I was about to have a 'private' moment, when two female Chinese students decided to form a queue directly in front of me. I tried to shoo them away, but they completely misinterpreted my gesture. They thought I was signing hello! Of course, I kept waving and saying "Go up deh suh man!" and they continued to respond by waving and greeting me with hellos.

View of most public restrooms in China 

Recently, there was this Chinese lady who I encountered in the supermarket. She tried to secretly snap a picture of me. Now, given my poor Mandarin, I wasn't able to deter her very quickly. I fumbled for words, but then exploded in Jamaican Creole and 'toad out' my two big yeye dem pon har. Seemingly frightened, she almost galloped away with her trolley!

These brief encounters have been motivating me to learn the language. Certainly, I cannot continue to act like a white fowl (chicken), indicate disapproval with a a simple wave of hand, (this is clearly construed as an expression of hello) or 'toad out' mi yeye dem, like some crass Jamaican, in order to communicate.

I will continue to flex my vocal muscles until I have developed a reasonable level of fluency in Chinese. 

Wish me luck!