Getting Buff in China!

Being fit and toned has become the new vogue. Although I have never been one to "falla fashin" (copy other people's behaviour, dress or ideas), I have finally given in to this trend.

The inception

Once I did my research on proper nutrition, cardiovascular workout and resistance training, I decided on a plan to transform into a sculpted belle.

First, I overhauled my diet. I started having steady repasts of fruits and vegetables. Meat was rarely consumed, and I was often hydrated with green juice, green tea and mineral water.

What I have started eating 

What I have avoided 

Gradually, I incorporated routine exercises. I started jogging on an open lot near my apartment. When this became mundane, I alternated between working out to aerobic videos on YouTube and jumping with the support of a skipping rope. However, after doing the latter one night, my Chinese neighbour paid me a visit. From her gestures, I garnered that her roof was being thumped every time I landed. I was a bit amused, but then resorted to exercising outside.

Finding the gym

Overtime, I developed the urge to intensify my workout regime. I therefore opted to take a hiatus from home training.

I was told of a well-furnished gym close to my apartment. Of course, with the Chinese having a  warped definition of close (close sometimes meaning an hour away by foot or bike), I was initially sceptical about going in search of this establishment.  Eventually, I mustered some courage and sought ways to find it. 

One afternoon, I asked my teaching assistant to scribe the Chinese for gym on a shred of paper. She quickly obliged, and then provided me with what appeared then as very vague directions. Nevertheless, I ventured outside and started perambulating the busy streets. For about ten minutes, I searched desperately for a recognizable sign. My legs started to weaken under the weight of my upper body, and my delicate face was being scorched by the sweltering sunrays. 

I quickly surrendered to the agony and showed the paper to a Chinese lady. She looked at the script, knitted her brows and exhaled aahhs, niggas and  jiggas (language fillers) before finally pointing to the location. I then caught an elevator to the third floor of a high-rise complex.

En route to the gym 

At the gym

When I got there, I had another ordeal. None of the workers spoke English, and so I had to role play and gesticulate for quite some time before they understood my request for membership.

After struggling to communicate further, one of the gym assistants made a call for help. He extended his cell phone and allowed me to speak to someone who could communicate in my mother tongue. I directed my questions over the line, and was provided with the necessary information.

Surprisingly, the membership fee was rather reasonable. I paid what would equate to JMD$5363 (US$48) for three months, and this has afforded me unlimited access to all gym equipment and workout classes. 

My first day

On my first day, I was really amazed to find quite a number of Chinese men and women exercising. While some of them boasted a toned package, there were others who were just as portly as I am. However, we were all unified by our seeming determination to develop and maintain a chiseled physique.

Body in progress 

Before I started my cardio workout on the treadmill, one of the gym instructors gave me a brief orientation. Certainly, I didn't understand his speech, but I read his body language well. When he was through, he smiled and left me to my doings.

I managed to burn some calories by walking, and sometimes running, on the treadmill for thirty minutes. Just as I was about to call it a day, a young lad, about 18 or 19 years old, started to follow me around. His English was very limited, but he helped me to  refocus on my vision.  He showed me some moves and advised me on  working out. After spending about fifteen minutes with me, he scuttled off with his mother, who watched us, all the time smiling.

Though my body ached for days after the intense workout, I felt rejuvenated and motivated to continue.

Embarrassing moments

On my second day, I decided to take my cell phone and play some Jamaican music while I exercised. Dismissing all thoughts of negative eventualities, I hopped on to the treadmill with the device in hand. When I realized that a particular song gave me an extra humph, I tried to repeat it. I took up the phone, started pressing some buttons and before I could click play, I was fumbling for balance. I was unable to grope the handle of the treadmill in time, and needless to say, I was flung on the ground. I quickly picked up my phone and walked away as if nothing happened. I didn't even look around to see the possible smirks.

A similar incident recurred a week after, when I tried copying a Chinese man who had seemingly developed a strategy for climbing off the treadmill. He placed his legs on the corrugated sides of the equipment, switched off the power button and then stepped down. I attempted to do likewise, but I misplaced my feet and was tossed on the ground. Again, I smiled and limped over to another equipment to continue my routine.

Communal shower 

On another evening, I decided to change my clothes at the gym and work out before going home. When I entered the changing area, it was crowded with many Chinese women. Most of them were bollock-naked and were prancing around quite unashamedly with their dense lower 'forestry' on display. Given my private streak, I tried to find a secluded area, but I ended up walking straight into a communal shower.

General set-up of a communal shower area 

I eventually found a spot that was relatively private. However, by the time I started unbuttoning, I saw some very brazen women forming a queue for the 'exhibition.' Surely, I had to get creative because I was not going to allow them the pleasure of seeing my distinctly Afro-centric features. Immediately, I draped my towel around my waistline  and wriggled into the leggings, allowing  the  most minimal exposure. Realizing my plot, they gradually scattered, obviously disappointed.

With my dignity intact, I left the room and resumed my routine until I was too drained to continue.

Current situation

Since these happenings, I have started using the exercise bikes at the gym. They are safer and usually force me to expend more energy in comparison to the treadmill. I have also made sure to change into my gym wear from home in order to avoid the scrutiny :)  The pounds are gradually coming off, and I am enjoying my daily encounters.