Come Away With Me

What did I do when the shop attendant moistened his fingertips with saliva just before counting out my change? I ordered more items until di money done ! What did I do when he did the same thing before handing me a bag in which to place the items? I declined his offer, huddled everything in my hand, vowed to have the exact change next time and got myself a durable shopping bag right after. What  did I do after I walked five minutes before finding the supermarket's 'entrance,' and the security guard indicated that I was entering through the exit (She pointed to the EXIT sign.) and then asked me to retrace my steps? I pretended the Chinese characters above the English 'EXIT' confused me, then I proceeded inside. What did I do when the lady cashed my groceries and indicated (in Chinese) that I needed to pay for a 'scandal' ( polythene bag) that I thought would have been complimentary? ( At this point, I had only 5RMB to get a taxi h...

    Today, I had quite an 'interesting' conversation with my student (female). Here is an excerpt. Student: You always smell so nice. Me: (Smile) Thank you! Student: Do you bathe every day? Me: (Astonished) Yes! Don't you? Student: No! I am Asian. I only bathe once per week. Me: (Trying hard to suppress my surprise) I didn't know that. Why? Student: That is how Chinese are. I feel too tired after I bathe, and most days, I don't have the time to bathe. I am too busy. Me: What do you do before coming to my class in the mornings? Student: I just wash my face and neck. Me: What about when you are having your 'special time'? Student: It is the same thing. I bathe once per week and wash my face and neck. Me: (Aghast) So when did you have your last shower? Student: Last Saturday. Me: (Internally) My gosh! (To the student) Oh I see. Ok

Today, I met a Chinese store clerk who could barely speak a word of English. However, when I jokingly took up a pack of Durex condoms and asked her which type is the best, she batted her synthetic lashes, searched for another brand, handed it to me and blurted out, "Good-a!"Her body language and tone conveyed remarkable conviction. I doubt there was ever a misunderstanding.  NB. I am always amazed by the things that they easily understand. 

There are many streets in Songyuan with restaurants serving local cuisines. While most of them offer reasonably priced barbecue, porridge, eggs and noodles, there is one that plates out dog, and dog only. Today, I ventured inside to have a firsthand experience of their unusual entrees. Inside the restaurant When I entered the restaurant, I realized that the setting was similar to that of many others around the city. The tables were tidily arranged and were lightly decorated with fresh sprigs of variegated flowers. There was also a noticeably spacious and sun-lit passage. Additionally, on each side of the room, there were pastel draperies at the windows. These inspired a homespun decor, which was delicately accentuated by a sparkling chandelier. Overhead the cashier's counter were framed photographs of the restaurants most delectable fares. From these, I was able to identify the prominent parts of a dog. The head was seemingly baked and honeyed over with a shimmering sau...

I have beautiful memories of my sojourn in these places :)  Thank you Lord for the many opportunities that you have afforded me over the years! I am extremely grateful!

I was most horrified to find the following on sale in quite an upscale shopping centre! 

Since my arrival in China on May 3, 2014, I have had many awkward moments. Most days,  I have to sign, point, dramatize or role play in an effort to communicate my requests to the natives. In fact, one day, I had to pretend to be a chicken in order to guarantee the purchase of authentic poultry and not canine products or by-products thereof.   If you have read my previous blogs, you can easily conjure the design of the Chinese restrooms in the public schools. The toilets are at ground level and there are no doors  to privatize the stalls.  One day, I was about to have a 'private' moment, when two female Chinese students decided to form a queue directly in front of me. I tried to shoo them away, but they completely misinterpreted my gesture. They thought I was signing hello! Of course, I kept waving and saying "Go up deh suh man!" and they continued to respond by waving and greeting me with hellos. View of most public restrooms in China  Rec...

This evening, I took a taxi home. It was driven by a young Chinese lad who was rather easy on the eyes. I therefore decided to strike up a conversation with him. It went as follows: Me: What a gwaan good-looking? Driver: (Giggles and responds in Chinese) Me:   (Winking) Wo ai yi fu (I like your shirt.) Yuh have a nice smile deh though. Driver: (Smiles broadly and utters more Chinese) Me: Well is a ride me a beg still. Weh yuh seh? Yuh can gi me dah one yah? Driver: I don't speak English! Now, talk the truth. How people stay suh?

Being fit and toned has become the new vogue. Although I have never been one to " falla fashin " (copy other people's behaviour , dress or ideas ), I have finally given in to this trend. The inception Once I did my research on proper nutrition, cardiovascular workout and resistance training, I decided on a plan to transform into a sculpted belle. First, I overhauled my diet. I started having steady repasts of fruits and vegetables. Meat was rarely consumed, and I was often hydrated with green juice, green tea and mineral water. What I have started eating   What I have avoided  Gradually, I incorporated routine exercises. I started jogging on an open lot near my apartment. When this became mundane, I alternated between working out to aerobic videos on YouTube and jumping with the support of a skipping rope. However, after doing the latter one night, my Chinese neighbour paid me a visit. From her gestures, I garnered that her roof ...

Before coming to China, I never envisioned finding true love. My sole intention was to hone my craft as an educator and interact with the natives, in order to learn the language and understand the culture. While I have not steered from this course, I have developed an unbridled love for a mister. Initially, we started off as platonic companions. We would interact for very short periods during the day and sometimes at night. However, over time, we became inseparable. We started cooking together, having lunch together, and engaging in nightly rendezvous.Although only a month has passed since we sparked a connection, the attraction has climaxed, and we have therefore decided to officially tie the knots for a lifetime.  Who is he? No, not the taxi driver who gave me the wad of cash to hold before taking it back, and no, not one of those men who regularly beg to be photographed with me. For starters, he is well lettered and hence bears a befitting name. I call him "My Ene...

Today, I decided to deviate from my usual route home and appreciate   Songyuan for a moment. I was a little afraid of getting lost, but after one month and almost two weeks of being here, I thought an adventurous navigation around the town was well overdue. I was able to capture some of the sites for your viewing, so please, have a look :) Shopping areas  Parking lot outside the mall  Pizza Hut  High-rise apartment building  Very cozy section of a tea shop  An exotic  array of teas  Love the interior arrangement of the tea shop  Enjoying the view by the fountain  Beautification project in progress  Lingerie store  Verdant grass soon to be manicured  This section of the city oozes quietude.  A government building -- I assumed. I was unable to read the sign. 

My Mandarin is still poor, but I am surviving quite well. I have stopped travelling around with my address written on a piece of paper. I just take the taxis and point all the way to my destination.  Today, I even got a huge melon at a discounted price. Once the lady showed me the cost, I elevated my hand to indicate that it was too high. Immediately, she reduced the original figure by three Yuan, and I paid what would amount to JMD$178. Moreover, my translation app has been very helpful. Recently, I went to the hairdresser, and I was able to have a meaningful conversation with her for about 10 minutes. However, the minute she shaved away a considerable part of my hairline, my battery died and so did the exchange. Of course, she marvelled at my "beautiful" makeover, while I stared in the mirror, aghast at my more rotund forehead. I tried to indicate how she could have applied a "fix," but I eventually gave up my wild and infuriated gesticulations before ...

Don't be shy now. Eat all you can from the sumptuous fares below. Rice, beef and some unidentified vegetables Sausage is very popular here. Eat all the ducks you can. More sausage! You will never have to borrow or share "sausage." You can have your own :) Are you a pork lover? Well, if you love it that much, you can have the pig's face. Yum! Yum! Prefer bigger sausages? Well, help yourself. Big and perhaps, tasty :) Pumpkins galore! Look like turnips I love their carrots. Squash (I think.) I think these are smaller sweet peppers. Pork again  Tripe...I am not sure from which animal (could be canine :) ) What a pretty piece a pork?